To be Honest...

Right Now, I have a huge migraine and I've had it for about 20 hours .
I know its because I have a lot on my mind and as much as I try to get old thoughts out of the way to make space for the new ones jumping in my head like firecrackers, there seems to be very little time between the two processes.
To be honest I have been trying my hardest to write something about the situation in Nigeria, you know, as a continuation of the series, but I just cant seem to type the right words.
I read blogs and Newspapers and all these literary pieces with eloquent words and when I open Ms Word, all I can seem to do is stare at my cursor.
To be honest, I have come to realize that my heart is far too broken, and the disappointed and pained tears have since dried from my eyes and words really cant be used for what I feel.
I dont want to write a humorous, satirical, sarcastic, event brilliant, short story as to how I feel.
My heart is too broken, too many times, too much pain and disappointment have caked up my eyes so now all I see is a white screen and a cursor, but words cant explain.
All the promises and lies, from past leaders have left me feeling like a a bride left waiting for a groom at the alter.
I feel like I've been raped raw by hope, the hope that things will change.
I've watched innocent people get shot by 'accident', just for waiting for the bus, women get raped, just for wearing skirts, children denied education just because their parents arent governors, uncles, left to die in front of hospitals because they didnt have registration cards....
To be honest, I have no words for the way I really feel........the disappointed and pained tears have long dried up in my eyes...